Worksheet for Day One

For God is my witness, whom I serve in my spirit in the gospel of his Son, how unceasingly I make mention of you, always in my prayers (ROM 1:9).

REFLECTION

Bible Passages for Daily Spiritual Reflection

OR, LOOK UP YOUR BIBLE PASSAGE HERE
For the next forty days I want to help you achieve sexual self-control and management, spiritual renewal, and greater resolution of the homosexual dilemma. Each day of these forty days, through these worksheets:
I will share some thoughts with you for your Reflection, insight and understanding; and
Ask you to engage in some Action which will enable you to grow in some way.

On this first day I want to help you understand what you will be doing each day. You will be keeping a Sexual Report, a Spiritual Report and a Worksheet Report.
The Sexual Report

The first Report is the Sexual Report. It describes "In the Box" or allowable behavior, and "Out of the Box" , or not allowable sexual behavior. Take a look at it:
Sexual Report
Have you engaged in any "Out Of The Box" Behavior?
1) Sexual contact with another same-gender person,
2) Sexual approaches to a person or to a place;
3) Frequent Masturbation (Beyond the Norm given)
4) Emotional attachments to same gender person,
5) The indulgence in any form of pornography.
6) Involvement in any homoerotic fetish.
If you have been "In The Box", you were allowed:
l) Visual Indulgence. Visual Indulgence refers to lustful watching or looking in a preoccupied and indulgent way (with attempts to stop).
2) Masturbation. Masturbation is limited to the Norm of once a week to once a month, with efforts to avoid homoerotic fantasy.
3) Homoerotic fantasy, refers to using the mind or imagination to indulge homoerotic fantasy or preoccupations (with attempts to stop).
4) No sex at all, or acceptable sex with one's spouse.
Write a summary of your sexual behavior for today. Your "BOX score".
During these forty days, you may want to abstain from all and every form of sexual behavior. You may want to make your goal one of complete and total abstinence from all sexual expressions. That is very commendable and I would encourage you to do so. For a person who has been sexually out of control it may be important to strive for total abstinance. For some people, this is a very important goal to achieve.

But complete abstinence is not the only goal of this program. Rather, recognizing that you are a sexual person who has often been out-of-control , the program wants to help you begin to gain sexual self-control or "in-control" behavior by making the distinction between functional and dysfunctional sexual behavior. So one initial goal is to achieve functional and in-control sexual behavior. You may want to consider working the I-40 program with this more more limited goal before you.
How does this partial abstinance goal work? Think of your sexual behavior as either IN THE BOX of functionality (allowable with conditions) or OUT OF THE BOX of functionality or dysfunctional (not allowable at all). I have called this your "BOX SCORE". These following four behaviors are considered to be IN THE BOX sexual behaviors, provided they are within the specified conditions:

In The Box
1) Visual Indulgence refers to lustful watching or looking in a preoccupied and indulgent way (CONDITION: with attempts to stop)
2) Masturbation refers to genital self-stimulation.(PRIMARY CONDITION: The "In the Box" Norm is once a week to once a month. SECONDARY CONDITION:Attempts to resist homoerotic imagery during masturbation)
3) Homoerotic fantasy (aside from masturbation) refers to using the mind or imagination to indulge homoerotic fantasy or preoccupations (CONDITION: with attempts to stop).
4) Appropriate sex with one's spouse, or no sexual activity (if you are single) at all.

Also remember, we are not suggesting a "legalism" about your behavior but some realistic and workable guideline which help you begin to achieve greater sexual self-control.

Out Of The Box

"Out Of The BOX" behavior includes the following:
1) Sexual contact with a same-gender person. Any form of homoerotic physical touching or contact.
2) Sexual approaches to a same-gender person or to a place where such contact could take place (lavatories, bars, cruising area, bookstore, parks, etc.).
3) Compulsive Masturbation (Beyond the Norm above)
4) Emotional attachments to a same gender person. We call these ED�s (emotional dependencies, attachments, crushes).
5) The indulgence in any form of Pornography (videos, magazines, internet; whatever is pornography for you).
6) Involvement in any homoerotic fetish.

Spiritual Report

Your Spiritual Report asks you to look up a Passage from the Bible each day. I have provided you with a list of 90 passages on the pull-down viewer. The Pull-Down Viewer can be found at the top of each Worksheet. Ignore the other Bible passage link-it is not working properly. Lookup your Bible Passage, and upon reflection ask and write, "What is the Lord saying to me personally through this passage?"

Worksheet Report
Each day there is a challenging teaching which includes a Reflection and Action for you to work on. These are seldom a one time completed issue. Most often, the material and activity requested of you is continuous and on-going. These worksheets are designed specifically for men who are homosexually inclined and tend toward sexual addictiveness.

ACTION ..........
This is the Action section of today's worksheet. Make your Worksheet report on the Daily Accountability Reporting Sheet.
l. Report which of the following three you intending to work on? It is important to make the decision now and choose one:
a. Complete sexual abstinence, (no sexual behavior at all for 40 days) or
b. Complete sexual abstinence initially, with allowance for switch to "in-the-Box" behavior, if need be, or,
c. In-the-Box behavior throughout the I-40 program, starting today.
Is there anything about the program that you don't understand? EMAIL Andy at allthings@counsellor.com