For God is my
witness, whom I serve in my spirit in the gospel of his Son, how unceasingly I
make mention of you, always in my prayers. (ROM 1:9).
God Speaks to you in His Word!
For these 30 days I want to help you
achieve greater sexual self-control and management, spiritual renewal, and
greater resolution of your SSA (same-sex attraction) dilemma. For each day there
is a: (1) Bible passage for your self-reflection in which God speaks
to you. Ask, "What is my Father God, in the Lord Jesus, saying to me personally
in this passage through the Holy Spirit?" (2) There is a helpful
Reflection, insight or understanding, and (3) There is an Action to
take which will enable you to grow in some way.
(1) Bible Passage
(2) Reflection
You are a Christian man who experiences sexual and emotional attraction to
certain same-gender people, and who finds his sexual behavior out-of-control or
addictive, either periodically or continuously. A Christian man, homosexually
inclined, sexually addictive. Those are the three factors with which you must
contend. You have begun this I-30 program because those three factors are in
conflict and troublesome. You have not found a way to manage them effectively.
They cause you to feel badly about yourself and your life. At times they have
caused disruption in your relationships and in your daily living. You know that
you have been out-of-control and unhappy, weak and disappointed, discouraged and
depressed. These are sure symptoms of a sexually addictive or compulsive person.
Let's define it! Sexual addiction is an
obsessive-compulsive relationship with a person, object or experience for the
purpose of sexual gratification. Are you sexually addicted? It seems
that this is the first thing we ought to determine. Are you dealing with sexual
addiction as defined above? Take this brief test to find out: Do these
statements apply to you? Check "yes" or "no." Be honest with yourself.
(3) ACTION
This is the Action section for
today. Complete this questionnaire. Yes - No 1___ ___ I think about
sex or romantic relationships most of the time. 2___ ___ I often feel shame,
regret or remorse after sexual fantasy or behavior. 3___ ___ I want to stop
masturbating but I can't. 4___ ___ I have difficulty staying monogamous in a
relationship. 5___ ___ I break promises to myself to stop my unwanted sexual
behavior. 6___ ___ My sexual behavior isolates me from my friends, family,
etc. 7___ ___ My obsession with pornography interferes with my real
relationships. 8___ ___ I obsessively sexualize people on the street.
9___ ___ I put myself at risk of sexually- transmitted diseases. 10___
___ I've been afraid of my "double life" and sexual secrets being discovered.
11___ ___ I've spent a great deal of time or money on sex. 12___ ___ I
have felt compelled to seek new sexual or romantic highs. 13___ ___ My
sexual behavior has put me in dangerous situations. 14___ ___ I have hurt
myself or others as a result of my sexual behavior. 15___ ___ I have engaged
in one or more of the following: voyeurism; exhibitionism; anonymous sex; phone
sex;chat room sex; internet pornography; trading for sex; paying for or being
paid for sex; abusive sex. 16___ ___ I have been unable to say no to other
people's sexual advances. 17___ ___ I have risked or lost my job because of
my sexual behavior. 18___ ___ I feel empty when not in a sexual or romantic
relationship. 19___ ___At times I feel sex is my most important need.
20___ ___ I can be obsessed with romantic or sexual possibilities or
planning. 21___ ___ I flirt or act seductive even when I don't mean to.
22___ ___ I have picked up hitchhikers for the purpose of sexual seduction.
23___ ___ I obsess about a specific person or act even though it may be
painful. 24___ ___ I confuse sex with love. 25___ ___ My sexual behavior
has made my life unmanageable. 26___ ___ Do you experience remose,
depression, or guilt about your sexual activities? 27___ ___ Do you feel
your sexual drive and activity is getting out of control? That is, Have you
repeatedly tried to stop or reduce certain sexual behaviors, but inevitably you
could not? 28___ ___ Are you unable to resist sexual advances, or turn down
sexual propositions when offered? 29___ ___Do you use sex to escape from
uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, etc.
which seem to disappear when the sexual obsession starts? 30___ ___ Have you
neglected your family, friends, spouse, important relationships or God because
of the time you spend in sexual activity? 31___ ___ Is your sexual life
secretive, a source of shame, and not in keeping with your values? Do you
decieve others to cover up your sexual activity? 32___ ___ Are you
increasingly unable to perform sexually without other stimuli such as
pornography, videos, "poppers," drugs/alcohol, "toys," etc.? 33___ ___ Do
you have to resort increasingly to abusive, humiliating, or painful sexual
fantasies or behaviors to get sexually aroused? 34___ ___ Do you only have
anonymous sex or one-night stands? 35___ ___ Have you ever been caught in a
sexual activity by a spouse, co-worker, friend or law enforcement person?
(1) There are 35 statements. If you answered from 1 to 10 of them with a yes,
you are definately Inclined to Sexual Addiction. If you answered 11 to 20
with a yes, you are Very Sexually Addicted. If you answered 21to 35 with
a yes, you are Severely Addicted.