Intimacy is the absence of falseness and masks. It is being real, truthful, disclosed, and authentic with oneself and with another. It is being open and familiar and close in a genuine way. Intimacy is an issue for men dealing with homosexuality. There seems to be some problem with being intimate with thier real selves and with others. They seem to be closed off and walled off from making real contact with others of an intimate nature.
INTIMACY (with Identity) is one of the powerful, subjective needs involved in sexuality. Intimacy is the subjective force that demands that I have closeness to, am appreciated by, accepted by, belong to, am loved by, included in, bond with, and am valued by same-gender others.
If I did not experience sufficient intimacy with same-gender parent and peers in those important pre-adolescent years; I may develop a deep Gender Emptiness (GE) and hunger for emotional and physical bonding with someone of my gender. GE is one of the critical and formative stages in the development of homosexuality, as you can see from the diagram.

Christian men who are dealing with homosexuality and with sexual compulsiveness universally have unmet intimacy needs. In fact, addictive/compulsive sexual behavior (whether homosexual or heterosexual) is a substitute, a cover, a counterfeit for one’s pressing need for intimacy. The intensity of the sexual experience replaces the deeper underlying need for intimacy. Sex looks like intimacy, but it is intimacy at only the erotic, physical, sexual level. For the sexual addict, intimacy comes to mean only the erotic and sexual. But man was made to experience a number of levels of intimacy to be complete and fulfilled.

1. Spiritual
=closeness to God the Father, Jesus through the Holy Spirit; through prayer, The Sacrament; the Word of God; Spiritual fellowship with other Christians.
2. Psychological
= A sense of closeness and understanding with others with compatible sharing of values, ideals, standards, ambitions, hopes, dreams.
3. Emotional
=Closeness in terms of sharing and expressing real feelings with others.
4. Social-Interpersonal
=Closeness in feeling accepted, belonging, included, valued, assicated, companionship, and activities with some others.
5. Physical-Sexual-Erotic
=Erotic contact, touch, experience, including giving and receiving sexual pleasure and orgasm with another.

1. Do you have intimacy with same-gender and other-gender people at levels 1 through 4? What makes it difficult for you to form emotional, social, interpersonal intimacy with "straight" men? How can you improve intimacy with both genders?

2. Using the description of intimacy above, take each of the first four levels of intimacy and give examples of same-gender intimacy you have experienced in the last month or so. Are you feeling a strong need for fifth level intimacy?