l. Walk through to the consequences. Think about how you will feel about yourself after you have been sexually active in some way.

2. The rubber band technique. Place a rubber band on your wrist. Every time you catch yourself moving toward your addiction, snap the band for a shocking reminder to 'stop'!

3. Paradoxical results. Listen to your silent erotic/sexualized talk, (e.g. wow, he looks so nice) Now exaggerate, amplify, ridicule your own talk, (e.g. This man must be a Greek god and I know my whole life will be absolutely wonderful if I could just gaze into his liquid eyes of blue radiance.)

4. Turn Away Quickly. Practice the reality of "first thought, second thought" or "first look, second look". That is, you may not be able to help the first thought or look but you can turn away quickly and not look the second time.

5. Thought Stopping/Substitution: Stop a thought or look by saying out loud or loudly in your mind "STOP!" Then, substitute a mind occupier like counting from l00 backwards by 4's, recite the alphabet backwards, count all the white cars, etc.

6. Spoil or Break the Idol: Don't idealize or idolize the object of your erotic attraction, instead learn to break your idols by saying and reminding yourself that he was a child once with parents who loved him, he is someone for whom Christ died, he is someone who will also be dead some day, he is someone who is intended to go to heaven also.

7. H.A.B.I.T: Use this acronym to break the spell of temptation. H stands for Hazardous or High-risk situations. Stay away from them! A stands for Actions which begin the fall into sin. Don't touch yourself, don't drive home that way! B stands for Bible verses which you should memorize and use. I stands for forming a strong Intention, like "I will not do this because I will not like what it does to my walk with God, etc. T stands for Thoughts. Use # 5 above.

8. Go Public: Make a public covenant before God and with three other people (e.g. pastor, elder, family member, friend) who will commit themselves to regularly encourage you and pray for you.

9. Accountability Partner: Find a person who will be your AP and confess to that person weekly and call that person whenever you are in need.

l0. Fine Yourself: Agree with your accountability partner to a fine for slips and falls and indulgences. Fine yourself in ways that you don't like.

ll. Don't toy with temptation: Don't prolong or string out temptations. Tell yourself that they must be stopped immediately. Say, "Quit quickly, quit quickly, quit quickly!" three times. Tapering off rarely works.

l2. Direction, not perfection! Don't take a "do-or-die" approach to yourself. Expect to have slippage and relapses, but don't plan to! Remember, it's not "perfection" the Lord is asking of you, it is the "direction".

l3. Reminders! Post coded reminders in places at home, your car, your Bible and at work which will help you remember who you are and what you are working to accomplish. Such as "l Cor 5:l7" for reminding yourself that you are a new creation in Christ; or "QQ" for "quit quickly"; or "NoPo" for "no pornography".

l4. Help Someone! Get involved in serving and ministering to someone else. This helps you concentrate your energy away from yourself and also makes your conscience sensitive to letting yourself slip since you don't want to be a hypocrite.

l5. Monitor your Progress! Make a daily chart that you can keep privately. Use coded symbols (in case someone finds the chart) such as SD for "Slide" when you are indulging your addiction in some way with your eyes (eg looking at a person); SG for "Slippage" for when you have done some addictive behavior with your hands and eyes(eg looking through a porno magazine for l0 minutes); FL for an outright fall into behavior with hands, eyes, body(eg sexual contact with another). P.S. all of these should be confessed as sinful behaviors; or BF for a Big Fall of the hands, eyes, body and heart(eg falling in love with someone).

l6. Radical Accountability! If you are greatly out of control in your use of your time and money, make an hourly chart for every day, for ninety days, and keep account of each hour of each day (AM and PM). Make this chart available to your accountability partner. Also, make yourself accountable for all your money.

l7. Smell the Flowers! Addictive people live in the foreground of life (busy, competitive, external, sensual, tangible, preoccupied) and not enough in the background of life (spiritual, internal, relaxed, enjoyment, hobbies,etc) . They need to reverse this mode of living by giving themselves daily, weekly, monthly breaks to "smell the flowers", look up at the sky, listen to the ocean, play with their children, laugh, dance, frolic with a pet, be passive, let love come in. Read a mystery novel- it helps you keep light and balanced.

l8. Reduce Physical Tension! Periodically, do deep, slow breathing. Swim, exercise, diet, play a sport, run, walk, work in the garden,etc.

l9. Talk to Yourself! Learn to listen to what you are feeling and thinking beneath the surface. Addictive people are out of touch with their emotions and the self-messages. Listen to how irrational, dire, serious, self-critical, condemnatory, angry, belittling, you are with yourself.

20. Pray! Learn to pray in truth and in spirit. That is, pray all the truth in honesty. Stay genuine and real before God!