6. The Cross and Crown Indicator: John 12:24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Also might be called the Discipline/Obedience Indicator.

Your Homosexuality is both a Cross and will be your Crown. Healing and growth comes through trial and difficulty, not avoidance of pain. Suffering is a servant to growth. God knows that even more mysteriously and providentially, your homosexuality is also a crown and a gift. Both cross and yes, gift. It is "the" signature gift of your life. It is a GIFT! A Gift is something GIVEN.

God did not give you homosexuality, but He intends that it be a diamond on your crown. You did not choose it. It was a given in your life as a life-dominating issue. The important question is, what are you doing with it? Can you see it as a gift? How is it serving your growth, your wholeness and holiness? Does living with homosexuality making you better or bitter?

Life on earth is a time of testing. It is a probationary period. Difficulties discipline us; they teach us obedience to the Father; they drive out of us the love of the world. We learn obedience to God through the things we suffer. As was true of the Apostle Paul, when we are faithful in our prisons and sufferings other people are blessed.

Christians suffer many tribulations and pains throughout our discipleship. It is a comfort to know that when we are serving the Lord diligently our troubles are not chance occurrences or pointless harassments but are the disciplining hand of the Lord.

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? (Hebrews 12:6,7)

We are God’s children. God is our Father. God is teaching us obedience—perfect obedience to Himself. God will not tolerate disobedience in any of His sons.

There are many who are "praising" Jesus and calling Him Lord, Lord but are not doing what He says. They are not obedient to God but are hoping to make up for their disobedience by praising the Lord. I see these gay churches on the internet.

Fervent, enthusiastic worship is one of the most important activities of an assembly of saints. Fervent worship is necessary if we are to please the Lord. But strict obedience to God, to both His written Word and specific, personal guidance, is more important even than praise.

Obedience to the Father is the basis of the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is manifested in doing God’s will in the earth as it is performed in Heaven.

Obedience must be learned and it often can be learned best through suffering.

Life on earth is a time of testing. It is a probationary period. The main lesson we learn on earth is complete trust in the faithfulness of God and obedience to His will. The result of trust and obedience is the Presence of God, which is the only true holiness.

Wrestle: "Father, I have a hard time understanding my issue of homosexuality as a GIFT and a Crown! This is too much for me to fathom! Father, show me how I can turn this issue from a millstone into a gemstone". Your Father Knows!

7. The Mutuality Perspective. God works WITH you, not instead of you: Without God, I cannot; without me, God will not. There is a mutuality to the process of growth and change. Therefore, Resolution is a cooperative Process between you and God. It certainly is not a Quick Fix. This is God’s way of working. Keep to the Journey. Resolution is a Dynamic and Progressive Process.

Living with homosexuality successfully or the resolution of homosexuality, is a dynamic and progressive process to which you must contribute your own work as you cooperate with God’s grace. By dynamic I mean that the Father knows that there are times of up and down, success and failure, forward and backward movement. He does not get tired of you or disgusted with you because of this. He knows this is the reality of human nature that is weak and contaminated by sin. But He also knows that men who diligently work at resolution make a steady progress which makes the BIG "H" of homosexuality begin to fade into the background of their lives as a small "h". They get on with kingdom living.

Practically, it means avoiding the attitude of either extreme: "It’s all up to God" or "It’s all up to me".

Another way of saying this is that Resolution is related to the operation of effort and grace together. Phil 4:l3 ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.’ Phil 2:l3 ‘For it is God who worketh in you to will and to do of His good pleasure. Augustine: "Without God, man cannot; without man God will not."

Wrestle: Are you a black and white thinker about your struggle with homosexuality? Are you impatient with the dynamic nature of the process? Then working on your patience is what the Father wants you to learn first. Are you a perfectionist? Does everything have to fit perfectly, fall in place and make perfect sense? Then working on your perfectionism comes first. On a positive side, can you admit that there has been positive growth and change? The Father knows these things about you! Do you?

8. The Direction not Perfection Indicator. An imperfect LIFE is more pleasing to God rather than a self-pleasing Gay LIFESTLE. Your Father Knows that for a Biblically Faithful Christian, making a life choice of obedience to Him is more important even if there are temptations and failings. Placing your life in your Father’s hands is what pleases God. It’s not having a perfect record of freedom from failure in your struggle with homosexuality. Choosing a lifestyle of homosexuality will separate you from God permanently, it displeases God and severs your relationship. The Direction is what’s important, not Perfection!

This is the meaning of 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. "Surely you know that the wicked will not possess God's Kingdom. Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts, or who steal or are greedy or are drunkards or who slander others or are thieves—none of these will possess God's Kingdom.

In this passage it is clear that Paul is speaking of lifestyles; whole ways of living. Gay and Lesbian are lifestyles. Such lifestyles (a conscious choice to live out one’s homosexual inclinations) separate you from God’s kingdom. His kingdom is His rule, reign and will. It is the rule and reign of His Spirit in you. But it is clear that the Corinthian people whom Paul was addressing had given up their "lifestyles" of

Wrestle: Have you made a clear decision to stay on the direction of life and holiness? The Father knows you will not do this perfectly. The Father Knows and understand this!

9. The Holiness and Wholeness Indicator: Your Holiness and Wholeness are tied together, growing together, moving together. You cannot be growing in holiness and remaining a psychological infant and vice versa. A good deal of the therapeutic work with overcomers is the work of maturity. Maturity and holiness are companions. Your Father Knows that your wholeness and holiness is all tied up with how you live out your one-of-a-kind life with all its weaknesses and strengths, gifts and liabilities.

Often, we look to other’s lives for examples. But there is no use trying to copy the lives of those called "saints" or comparing yourself with a Paul or Mary or Joseph or Mother Theresa; Luther, Wesley, Billy Graham, or Augustine.

You may learn valuable things of great importance from their writings or example, but you cannot live their lives because they had their own unique liabilities, doubts, weaknesses and strengths, which you do not have. You will never know their inner hearts, secrets, trials and personalities. They are holy only because of the responsibility they took for living out in Christ their own one-of-a-kind life. And besides, each of us who is born-again into the life of God by faith in Jesus Christ is already a saint; one set apart to be holy as God is holy.

I like the way in which Tim Hansel (The Hidden Adventure, Guideposts, Carmel NY 1987) speaks about "turning our theology into biography". He says, "Translating our theology into biography is merely meshing our beliefs into everyday reality. It’s that simple and that profound. It’s simple, but that’s not to be confused with easy. In fact, it is one of life’s greatest challenges. God wants to have an unblinking reflection in what we call the ordinary. If God speaks to us anywhere, it is in our daily lives. I believe it is more important to live one word of Scripture than to memorize volumes."

Christianity is not just a spiritual commitment, but a total commitment. Christians are famous for separating the sacred and the secular but God doesn’t draw those kinds of distinctions at all in Christ. He says, "If God had wanted to teach us psychology, he’d have sent us a psychologist; if he had wanted to teach us about science, he’d have sent us a scientist. But he wanted to teach us about personhood, so he sent a Person, the Word made flesh-not only to show us what God is like, but also what life is like." I would add, and to show us what we are like.

People can have false and mistaken spiritual assumptions and practices which interfere with good mental health. People can have psychological beliefs and practices which block spiritual growth. Anything that is truly good for you psychologically, should be good for you spiritually, and vice versa.

Wrestle: Are you growing both psychologically and spiritually? What has contributed to your wholeness and holiness that you thought was negative and painful? Name these!

10. Viewing Homosexuality as God does Indicator. We have an omniscient God. God knows all about homosexuality; He knows specifically about your issue with homosexuality just as He knows about the blindness, or alcoholism, mental illness, or the personality disorders of His other children. Your homosexuality in itself makes no difference to Him, except as to what you do with it as a part of your one-of-a-kind life in accordance with His Word and Will. He is not repulsed by you or hates you. He hates sin because it separates you from Him. Sin is rebellion against Him.

This perspective is an indicator of resolution because it should comfort you and reassure you that God knows all about you. It is when you pray this way before God your Father that you receive His mercy, love and forgiveness.

This perspective will insure that you are not engaged in self-rejection and self-hatred.

Yes, you read in Le 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. And in Le 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them." There is no doubt that God looks upon homosexual activity between same-gender people as a serious violation and distortion of his plan for sexuality. If you commit such a sin, you step out of your Father-son relationship and place yourself under God’s judgment. But He is always ready to show you mercy and forgiveness and ask you to step back into your sonship with Him.

A human life is meant to grow and go forward but it doesn’t do so automatically and without hesitation, blockages and interruptions. There is always regression, progress and regression. There are three steps forward and two steps backward. So every life is continuously in need of renewal and revival. Every so often it is good to commit to "a forty day fast" from all sexual expression as a form of renewal.

You will not arrive at a permanent balance between your Christian life and homosexuality. They will always be in a dynamic seesaw movement.

Wrestle: Men who are living with homosexuality in wholesome and mature ways know this reality. And so does your Father! Ask Him now for renewal and revival, or if you are in the midst of it, let Him know you want Him to continue renewing you, even if it is costly. He needs to know this!

12. The Roots and Fruits Indicator God knows and wants you to know that Homosexuality is a deception, a cover-up, a counterfeit. It is a disorientation and a counterfeit for something very important and needed. Namely, the need for wholesome, normal identity and intimacy with the same gender. The underlying needs (counterfeited by homosexual behavior and eroticism) are good (viz intimacy, identity, closeness, bonding, acceptance, belonging, participation, involvement, etc). God knows that also.

He knows that the underlying needs, (roots) which give rise to homosexual behavior, are good and normal and you should, and must get these needs met. Your homo-emotional needs are not the same thing as your homoerotic behavior (the fruits).

Wrestle: Men who have learned to live with their homosexuality in holiness and maturity or who are resolving homosexuality successfully have faced this importance difference and are working to meet these underlying needs. They have more successfully met their normal needs for same-gender bonding and closeness in wholesome ways. Ask your Father to help you accept these good needs and to find ways to meet them.

13. The Pro-Active vs Reactive Indicator. Resolution means acting effectively, purposefully, decisively. Pro-Actively not Reactively. Run fast toward that which you fear. Push the line of most resistance. Resolution means willing, deciding, acting boldly in helpful, positive and productive ways. Not simply wanting and desiring. Bite off more than you can chew. Decide who you are going to be, and go for it.

You need to do the things that are most pro-active; things which force you to cut into your own resistance to change and growth. You have become comfortable in your way of living, You resist challenges which would help you breakout of the lifestyle you have formed for yourself. These things are the pro-active; the positive, forceful, challenging things to do. Re-active are the things that come easily; which don’t cost you much.

Wrestle: Allow the Father to show you right now some of the breakthrough areas and pro-active things you need to do which would compel change in your life. Philippians 3:7-9, 12-15: "I once thought all these things were so very important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ and become one with him. I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead".

14. Keeping Perspective Indicator. Resolution is related to keeping perspective. You are more than homosexuality. Get on with your life. H has already robbed you and stollen enough years. What other areas of life should you be investing in productively?

All of your life is held together and united in one overarching reality. It is Romans 8:28. "We know that all things work together for good for the one who loves God and is called according to His purposes". There is a mountain; a cavern; an ocean of love and mercy which the Father wants you to receive in these precious words. They have been so precious, so cherished, so nurturing to my own life. These are the words the Father gave me as my life’s signature and promise. They say everything about the Father-son relationship. Would you spend some time with them now.

WRESTLE:

Do you KNOW this…?

Do you know that ALL…not just some?

Do you know that all things in God are actually WORKING…?

Do you know that all things are working TOGETHER…?

Do you know that all things are working together FOR YOUR GOOD…?

On FOUR conditions are all things working together for your good:

If you LOVE…

If you love GOD…

And if you are responding to your CALL…for you have been called to intimacy with God;

And if you are called ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE…

All things are working together for your good, if you love God and are called according to His purpose.

15. The Father-Son Relationship Indicator The blessing of living a mature and holy life for the Christian who lives with homosexuality is the life of SONSHIP; fully embracing your FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIP with God.

Romans 8:15-17 - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory".