We have found that the simplest way to help SSA Christians self-manage sexual behavior is by using "The Box". What is The Box?
           First, let's make a distinction between the highest or ideal sexual standards you could live by. Let's say that the highest standard for a married man (who is SSA) is that the only sex he has (including all fantasy, feelings, attraction, behavior) is with and about his wife exclusively. For the single male, the highest standard would be no sex at all in any form. However, for the SSA Christian these are ideal and admirable but not often realistic and achievable! If a person can maintain those standards, we certainly encourage him to do so. If they achieve that standard, that is very commendable. But most often, these are just not realistic for overcomers. And it is this latter group of SSA Christians we speak to in this session. And so the BOX!
           To manage your sexual behavior in a way which is least dysfunctional, least out-of-control, least compulsive or addictive, and least sinful, and most realistic, many people need to form a sexual management contract with themselves, with an accountability person or counselor, and with God. It's an agreement that you will faithfully stay within the boundaries you have both agreed to. We call this staying within the boundaries of "THE BOX".
            To make this contract, visualize a box on a sheet of paper. What you write "in the box" is the sexual behavior which you agree is allowable in terms of frequency and nature. What you write "outside the box" is what is not allowable and represents what is more sinful, more dysfunctional, more risky, morally, legally, out of control, addictive, and therefore to be avoided altogether as your agreement of accountability. Here is the Outside and Inside of the BOX you should be agreeing to:
            OUTSIDE THE BOX
            NO sexual encounters with same-sex persons. NO pornography purchased or viewed. NO downloading, viewing, saving, bookmarking of internet pornography. NO emotional attachments. NO parks, cruising areas, gay bars, or approaches to sex. NO calling sex-phone lines.
           IN THE BOX
           (1) Enaging in same-sex visual or casual viewing of accidental "soft porno" (For instance, what accidentally appears on TV or in magazine ads) is allowed (but with attempts to not indulge it).
           (2) Masturbation is allowed, but without homosexual imagery [fantasy], and no more than from once a week to once a month [frequency]. Please note: If you are able, or must be, completely abstinent from masturbation, do so!
           (3) Homoerotic fantasy refers to using the mind or imagination to indulge homoerotic fantasy or preoccupations. This may occur spontaneously or accidentally (but with attempts to not indulge it).3
           (4) Acceptable sex with one's spouse, for those who are married.
           Can you limit yourself to these boundaries? Report your success at staying within the BOX during the days of this Program.